Homeschooling (The Anti-Public?)

Dear Sarah,

Have you noticed an increase in people who homeschool lately?

The National Center for Education Statistics reports:

In 2007, the number of homeschooled students was about 1.5 million, an increase from 850,000 in 1999 and 1.1 million in 2003. The percentage of the school-age population that was homeschooled increased from 1.7 percent in 1999 to 2.9 percent in 2007. The increase in the percentage of homeschooled students from 1999 to 2007 represents a 74 percent relative increase over the 8-year period and a 36 percent relative increase since 2003.

Based on the number of people I personally know choosing to home school their children, I'd wager a bet that this number has increased even more so in 2011.

When I think of the typical homeschooling family, I think extremely religious (like fundamental Christian or Mormon) or extreme hippies (living in a commune). But what surprises me the most about the current trend is that many of today's homeschooling parents are really busting apart these stereotypes.  In fact, one of my best friends homeschools her oldest son and has plans to continue with her youngest son when he "starts kindergarten" next year, and she WAS an elementary public school teacher before becoming a stay-at-home mom.  More and more, I know well educated parents (because they aren't all moms, in fact, I personally know one dad who homeschools his sons) who are choosing to homeschool their children rather than sending them to traditional schools.

But why?  Are the schools just that bad?  Too much focus on testing.  Too much sitting in seats and doing workbooks and not enough time playing and being explorative?

Are they afraid of the teachers?  The sensational news stories about teacher misconduct filling their minds with fear that the teachers will tease, taunt, or abuse their children.

Worried about the negative influence of the fellow students?  Afraid of their child being bullied, taught to cuss, smoke, or drink by their peers?

I know a couple who are experiencing a financial hardship.  He is a contractor who has had a difficult time in this down economy. They are living on one income and food stamps to take care of their 5 kids living at home.  Right now they are three months behind in rent and facing eviction.  Yet when I asked her if she would consider putting her kids in school so that she could get a job to help with their financial hardship, she looked like I had slapped her and replied "that (putting her kids in public school) would go against everything I stand for."

Look, Sarah, I WAS an elementary school teacher for a short while.  My husband is a high school teacher.  One of my best friends is a middle school teacher.  Are there some crap teachers?  Yes, but but for every bad one, I see 10 average ones and 5 great ones!  Do I think there are issues with the school system?  YES!  But I still think the benefits outweigh the negatives.  Kids learn more than just reading, writing, and arithmetic in school.  They learn how to navigate social webs.  They learn the ins and outs of dealing with people...both other students and teachers and staff.  They learn discipline (like taking turns and being quiet when necessary).

Sure, there is areas for improvement, but I certainly can't for the life of me think that things are so bad with public school that I'd rather be homeless than send my kids to public school.

What am I not getting?

Dear Amber,

Homeschooling is something I will never understand.  Unless the parent is an educator themselves, it seems arrogant to think that as a parent you can be as effective as a teacher with a lot of education and experience.

Here are my reasons:

1.  My kids need to interact on a regular basis with other adults in an authoritative role.

2.  I would be stressed to the max and likely pull my hair out.  This does not benefit my kids and I'm certain   I wouldn't like being bald.

3.  Going to public school is one of the ways that we learn the world does not revolve around us as individuals.

4.  We need to remember that we are NOT raising kids, we are raising adults who will be responsible to  contribute to our society. 

5.  I think homeschooling teaches too much flexibility.  Once again, the world does not and will not revolve around individuals.  Learning to operate within a schedule/routine set by school or an employer is an essential tool.  Unless you think that all of your children will be entrepreneurs who do not report to anyone or are responsible for any staff.

6.  Expecting that you can teach your kids at home, opting OUT of the public school experience... your children should NOT be allowed to participate in public school athletics or other extracurricular activities--HEY, you take the good with the bad!  If you want your kid to play school sports, send them to school.

7.  For those who argue that kids learn better in a "comfortable and loving" environment. I have news for you, there will never be any place like home....ever...not in school...not at work...kids need to be able to learn in different types of environments.

8.  I find that if you communicate often with your child's teacher and address issues as they arise then your child's school experience can be mostly positive.

9.  Peer pressure can be a good thing.  I like to think that our son has a positive effect on bullies and has been taught to stand up for those being bullied.  I'd also like to think that the bullying victims are thankful we send BTM to public school.

Though I disagree, I thought this was funny.

Choosing to home school your child/children is a perk in our country.  I don't understand why anyone would want to homeschool, but that doesn't mean it's wrong, just that it's wrong for our family.  Dik and I find public school a vital part of our community and being a part of our community is important.  I will admit that some things are better learned at home and that just because your child attends public school doesn't mean that he or she stops learning when they leave the building. 

Do I feel a twinge of jealousy that we cannot afford for me to stay at home and home school our children?  Maybe, but just for a moment.  Having the flexibility and financial stability to stay home is awesome, but I think even if we could afford for me to stay home, our kids would still attend public school.  I like being the mom, not sure I'd like being a teacher.

Any Pro-Homeschoolers out there, feel free to comment.  Educate Amber and I on why your kids don't attend public school? 

  

Sarah,

I love the points that you've made, especially those related to the importance of teaching your children that the world doesn't revolve around them and that they have to learn about societal norms and schedules and such.

I agree with you that just because it's wrong for us, doesn't mean it's wrong.  And you are also right, the choice is a luxury only afforded to people who can afford to live on the one income.  I guess my main point (and I don't know if it was clearly stated) is that I'm amazed that it seems some people are so anti-public school that they would rather live on food stamps and face eviction than send their children to public school.  Obviously this is just a mentality that I cannot understand. 

Amber,

Let me try this from another angle.  I will try now to put myself in an "anti-public school" frame of mind.  If I were anti public school, here are the reasons why:

1.  The schedule is too rigid.  Who is the public school system to tell me when I can take my family on vacation or to the doctor.

2.  It ain't cheap..of course there is not tuition cost; but the cost of participating in school activities and fund raisers is expensive....to name a few...book fairs (I love reading and am glad my son likes it too, but buying books new is pricey), school pictures are ridiculously overpriced and now they take them TWICE a year, school sports, graduation fees, these are just a few examples of the cost, I think what's most costly is the cost of lunch.

3.  I'm really trying here, but coming up blank.

Most of the research I've looked at rejects public schools because of the lack of Christianity or lack of God in schools.  I don't have a problem with this, but non-Christian children don't need to have it forced down their throats either.  I even found an article that accuses public schools of "encouraging homosexuality." Really?  That's just stupid.

 

 

 

Dear Sarah,

 

I just feel the need to point out that all of the costs you mentioned are optional.  No one has to buy books at the book fair.  No one has to buy their school pictures.  School sports are optional.  Even participating in graduation is optional.  You can still get your diploma without walking.  Oh, and school lunches are expensive, but you can easily pack your kids lunch.

One point that I think you left off, that I have heard, and kind of mentioned above, is that they think that teachers are unqualified/lazy/stupid.  Again, as a former teacher with a teacher husband and a teacher best friend, I am both offended and see their point.

 

I will admit that as a teacher I saw bad teachers.  I saw a few teachers where I just wanted to shake them and say "go into another profession."  But, those were the exception, not the rule.  Generally every school I worked at had one.  Mostly I saw loving, meaningful, hardworking teachers that took their students' educations very seriously.  People who worked very hard, and were often not rewarded for the long hours and hard work with extrinsic rewards (high salaries) but with intrinsic ones (the joys of knowing they are making a difference in children's lives.

Am I afraid my kids will get a "bad" teacher.  Sure.  But that is also why I pledge to be active in the PTA and a vigilant parent participator, so that I can get to know who they great ones are and who the bad ones are and lobby for my kids to get into the "good" classes. :)

 

Food stamps and Cigarettes

Dear Sarah,

I generally describe myself as a bleeding heart liberal.  But I'm sure by now your have surmised that I definitely have some unusual views that don't exactly coincide with traditional liberal views (for instance my views on child support for intentional single moms and student loan forgivness).

Here is another one for you....

I am a big believer in welfare programs.

I volunteer every Tuesday night at a homeless shelter and see first hand how extremely destitute some people in this country are.  Many of our "guests" are addicts and/or have mental, emotional, or physical disabilities.  But some of our guests are simply down on their luck.

I've been lucky in my life.  I was born into a working class family.  Neither of my parents had college educations, but my dad was in the navy and my mom worked civil service.  We didn't wear name brand clothes or eat fancy foods.  But there was always clean clothes, a roof over our head, and food in our bellies. Living on tight budgets as a kid didn't hurt me, it taught me to work hard for what I have and be grateful for what I got.

And as an adult, my husband and I aren't upperclass by American standards by any means, but compared to many people in this world, we might as well be millionaires with all of the everyday luxuries we take for granted.

But I am a big supporter of welfare programs because of the what-ifs.  What if I had not been so lucky in life? What if I had born to a single mother with no education? What if I lost my job tomorrow and Superman died in a fiery car crash next week?

Fortunately, I have never been on any kind of welfare. Neither have my parents. But that doesn't mean I am immune. I feel it just means so far I have been very lucky.  I believe anyone, ANYONE can fall on hard times. All it takes is a few strokes of bad luck, and I think anyone could find themselves needing help.

Overall, I feel the US Welfare system was invented to help people who have fallen on hard times get back on their feet.  Yes, I believe in picking yourself up by the bootstraps, but some people don't even have on any boots!  And that it in societie's best interest to help our neighbors through their tough times.

Okay, so now that I've established that I'm not anti-welfare, can I tell you what really ticks me off?  People who play and or abuse the system.

For instance, when I see a family of 9, yes 2 parents and 7 kids using food stamps, I think "Why in the world did you have 7 freaking kids if you couldn't afford to feed them?"  We have two kids.  Two.  Because that is all we can comfortable afford on our teachers' salaries.

Or when I see people chain smoking and I know they are on WIC.  Uh, excuse me.  How much is a carton of cigarettes these days?  You can't afford milk or diapers for your baby, but you can afford those?

Or when I see the woman in line ahead of me paying for her groceries with food stamps while playing on her iPhone.  Meanwhile I have my old Motorola Razr in my pocket, because even on our two teachers' salaries we can't really afford expensive data plans. I can afford groceries but not a data plan.  She can afford a data plan but not groceries.  Doesn't make sense to me.

Overall, I am still a supporter of welfare system because I still believe that the MAJORITY of people who use the programs do not abuse them.  But when I see things like these, I get why my conservative friends refer to welfare programs as entitlement programs.  Because it sure does seem like they feel entitled to having someone pay their way for the important stuff so that they can throw their money away frivously on the other stuff.

Dear Amber,

This one's a toughy for me.  When our world collapsed we needed food stamps and our children had Medicaid coverage.  After a year, some luck, and a totally supportive family, we rebuilt our lives.  At that time I called our case manager and informed her we no longer needed the benefits.  Could we have used the benefits longer?  Probably.  Mostly because the cost of health insurance is outrageous!  I have to say though, neither of us smoke, we had "pay as you go" phones, we lived with my parents, I most certainly did not spend a ton of money at hair or nail salons, we didn't go out drinking, to say we were broke would be an understatement.  But we were able to turn our lives around. 

Clearly we cannot controls each other's spending.  The issue I take with food stamps is that there are no restrictions on the type of food that can be purchased.  You can buy candy, chips, surgary cereals...anything edible.  I say, if you're being fed by the tax payers you should eat healthfully and mindfully.  If you want to have junk food, pay for it yourself.  Also, if someone is receiving food stamps, why not teach them how to grow their own food?  Some of the food costs can be offset by having a small garden.

Just an FYI, the more kids a couple has, the more $ they receive in TANF and food stamps.  Also, in some states although there is legislation as to the length of time one can receive benefits...there is loophole, a GIANT loophole.  If you have a child under the age of 5 you do not have to GET A JOB!  Don't even have to participate in the job training programs.  So, some scum simply keep making babies.  As a Social Worker, I once had a family who received more than $1200 a month in food stamps!  Damn, we'd be eating real good with that kind of money!  Individual responsibility is a stretch,  most Americans already suffering from sincere apathy.  The Government cannot and should not have a say in the # of children we have, nor can they control whether or not someone uses contraception.  Clearly the Welfare Reform continues to be a necessity.

P.S. Everyone should quit smoking anyway, it's a nasty habit and it will eventually cause death if you do it long enough.