This new abortion law is frightening. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult it is to decide to abort a pregnancy, then add having to see the fetus on an ultrasound just before the procedure is torture, it is cruel. For the life of me I cannot understand why people think it's their right to make this decision for anyone else.
Sarah,
I have endless, endless opinions on this subject. But let me say this...women who are having abortions, for the most part, do not consider that blog on the screen a baby (otherwise they would most likely not be choosing to have an abortion), so the actual act of seeing the ultrasound isn't as traumatic as one might think. (Think back to the first ultrasound you saw. Remember trying so hard to see something meaningful? Thing 1 and Thing 2 were at least 16 weeks gestation before I could find anything meaningful in my ultrasounds. Before that they were just blobs to me.) Likewise, I've had literally at least 30 transvaginal ultrasounds with my high risk pregnancy. Never once did I feel raped or violated.
What is traumatic and violating is knowing that some old white law maker somewhere (not your doctor) is forcing you to have these procedures because they are judging your for your choice. And that is all it is. It is a power play. They don't think you should be having an abortion, and that haven't been able to outlaw it (yet!) but they can stick it to you by making unnecessary procedures legally mandatory as a reminder to you that they are judging your choice.
(P.S. I'm betting this is not our last post on abortion, because I have miles to go before I sleep on this topic).
Amber,
Our experiences with pregnancy/ultrasounds has clearly been very different. When I found out I was pregnant with for the second time, I went to the OB/GYN to confirm the pregnancy and have the OB measure for gestational age, which requires the aforementioned ultrasound. At this first appointment, according to my menstrual cycle I was about 8 1/2 weeks pregnant. But when the ultrasound was performed all that was there was an "empty sac." No sign of that beloved blob. I was completely heart broken, the doctor informed Dik and I that I needed to come back in two weeks and have another ultrasound to see if they need to do a D & C or if my body would "expel" the pregnancy on its own. This news was crushing of course because I really wanted this pregnancy.
Two weeks passed by, agonizingly slow of course and I didn't tell anyone about the fact that there was likely no baby in that sac. I should've relied on my friends and family for support, but instead I keep it to myself and swallowed those emotions right down. To say that I was nervous about the second ultrasound would be an understatement, I was terrified.
The doctor and the ultrasound technician came into the room once I changed into the little paper skirt to begin the ultrasound. After lubricating this monstrosity, I think they called it a "wand." The wand was inserted into my lady parts, a few breaths later the doctor let out a big sigh. I immediately turned to look at his face but on the way I stopped at the face of the ultrasound tech who had watery eyes and an awkward smile in my direction. I was momentarily confused with my heart in my throat. The ultrasound tech then turned up the sound and I heard that awe inspiring, tear producing, thump, thump, thump of a rapid baby heart beat. A rush of relief washed over me, I finally made it to the doctor's face and he too was smiling. At this point, the talk changed from miscarriage vs. D & C to let's measure this little bean and see how far along we are in this pregnancy.
The following May 26th, MLM was born. :)
The early ultrasound may not mean much to some, but to see that little shrimp on the screen and hear a heart beat meant that our little bean was going to be ok.
Sarah,
I'm so sorry you went through that. But I'm happy everything turned out okay.
I don't want you to think my ultrasounds weren't meaningful to me. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound to determine gestational age as well (my pregnancy was not quite planned as you know...) and I was very nervous and excited.
Much of that appointment is a blur to me, since I was by myself (Superman had a test, and I assured him that he'd get to see plenty of ultrasounds in the future) and was finding out that my premature pregnancy was now a DOUBLE not-quite-expected blessing. But I do remember three things:
1. Seeing the screen and thinking "that's not like the images I saw on google."
2. The technician asking "So, do twins run in your family?"
And 3. not really "seeing" what she was pointing out on the screen.
Did you ever watch Friends? Did you see the episode where Rachel "faked" her ultrasound? She oohed and aahed for the doctor, but then cried to Ross because she didn't see anything except for black and white static and a little blob on the screen. That was me. I was 7 1/2 weeks pregnancy, but I didn't see babies. I saw blobs. But, because I wanted those blobs to grow into healthy babies, I fell in love with them anyway. Starting that week, I had an ultrasound every two weeks (until I started having complications, then they got more frequent). And as the babies grew, they did grow into what looked like babies to me. But, at 7 1/2 weeks, I didn't fall in love with the blobs on the screen, I feel in love with the babies in my heart and mind. The promise of what I wanted those blobs to grow in to.
If I hadn't wanted to become a mother just yet though (hadn't finished school, didn't have a good job, a reliable partner, etc), I most likely wouldn't have had those same feelings about those blobs. I think it all boils down to when you think a "blob" becomes a baby. For many people, it is conception. And those people probably wouldn't see "blobs", but I submit they also wouldn't be the people seeking an abortion.
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